by Juan Huevos

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all songs written, produced, and recorded by Juan Huevos

bass on "Door Test" by Shane Hartman

mastered by Nick Petersen


released July 7, 2011



all rights reserved


Juan Huevos Chapel Hill, North Carolina

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Track Name: Low Low
say say say say say say
say say say say say say
say say say say

spew warlords so militant
my report card - so diligent
we vanguard for having things
go so hard for the little things
fuck you hard cause i don't know
how to do anything slow
all that they say is "you'll see"
(rawr rawr rawr) so juicy
fuck you please - computes me
screw you tease - don't do me
oh no no no let's go
so so low low low low

i don't understand
can you say that again?
i don't understand
can you say that again?
i don't understand
can you say that again?
i don't know
i think i missed the point really oh
i don't know now
can you say that again?
i don't know, i don't understand
say again?
come again come again
please come again
so so so so
low low

let's try this - oh never mind
you'll like this - it's a landmine
watch first step, it's a mother fuck
last year i paid for the taxi
worst fear is when ripper jacks me
go for your jugular solo
so low so so low low
Track Name: Don't Get Punched
don't get punched
don't get punched

my girl keeps threatenin with punches
hittin me in bunches
cause i'm so sweet and scrupmtious
like a kitty or a puppy
you just wanna kick em in the tummy
they're so cute and fuzzy
it's hard to resist
not making a fist
for my girl, she wants to punch me just because i exist
her hands are small like an egg mcmuffin
and every 5 minutes she's telling me something like

don't get punched
don't get punched

i gotta watch my back y'all
you know why?
her favorite song by me says:
"punch em in the eye"
she'll even punch me in my sleep
i know cause she told me
she put melatonin in my macaroni
i got the bruises to prove it
she blast music
so her roommates can't hear when she do it
i feel like a stunt double
but at least i get a warning when i'm gettin in trouble
she says

don't get punched
don't get punched

i never get punched
i never get punched
whoa oooh whoa
i never get punched
Track Name: UDALICK
is that a bike lane?
driving's such a pain
i ride bikes too
i'm in a hurry dude
i got somewhere to be
my girlie's calling me
this one goes out to you though
i'm sayin ... my girl yo
you're my girl right?

baby doll you push the shopping cart
lovely little lady, my frosted poppin tart
i'm such a little fuzzy butt
buy myself time by asking what the question was

golly gee, its the rap attack
i'm more stacked than a 24-pack of big macs
and when it's 2 for 2
at mickey d's
probably eat more burgers than you
i'm not endorsin i'm just sportin
a really heavyweight appetite (uh)
and you look so delicious
there's pasta bubblin on the stove tonight!

baby girl you cook the scrambled eggs
i'll eat 3 or 4 cause i can handle it
i'm on ya like a shakedown
everybody clap your hands
here comes the breakdown


is that a strong drink?
i need a long think
booze is hella tough
it really sucks me up
we all like to sip
we all like to trip
i'd rather settle it
with friday morning lips

it's so easy to get mad at you
but i won't though
cause the more i know
what makes you tick
what makes you sick
i can dig that
girl you the lick
Track Name: Door Test
squeezing on your thighs and
grabbing on your tits while you drive
might not make you feel good
but at least you know you're alive
you wore a helmet inside
i wanna know your design
you're a queen who's descended from a long, regal line

i read your mind and i know how to turn on your lights
i was still married on the day that you came in my life
i let you in and i was hoping you would even the score
but you didn't lean over to unlock my door
Track Name: Swatch Watch
wanna come see me perform but you don't care
wanna talk to men in uniform while i'm standing there
smoke a cigarette and complain while i cut your hair
walk around talking on the phone in your underwear

i say i gotta go but you make me stay
i'm not a tiger anymore i need to run away
i don't even know if this is what i wanna say
gettin drunk is not enough it always has to end this way

i keep fuckin up
i keep fuckin up
fuck it!